As the last few days before school starts back dwindle down, I feel my heart filling with anxiety and almost dread. Not because I forgot to buy school supplies or clothes. No, our backpacks are full of the appropriate supplies, and our uniforms have been ordered and arrived on our doorstep. My kiddos are incredibly smart and do well academically, so that's not it either.
Behavior is a huge issue for us. Except, I struggle sometimes, because I don't think that behavior can always be categorized as "good" or "bad." There is definitely behavior that is easier than others to deal with. There is behavior that is more conducive to a classroom running smoothly. But, what if this same "bad" behavior is a huge part of my children fulfilling the role God put them on this Earth for? I'm afraid that if our expectation is sit in our seat, do not question anything, and never speak out of turn, we are creating children who are going to be very good students, but what if we are failing to allow these children to flourish as who they are into the roles for which they were created?
(I want to stop here to say that none of this is a teachers fault. Our kiddos have had teachers who love them and are so patient with them and me. I also know I'm mostly on an island and most of you will think I am crazy and should just discipline my kids more. I know your parenting philosophies and still love you, so please be patient with mine! :))
I don't want my children to always follow a schedule exactly. I want them to be willing to turn their cars around so that they can take dinner in a sack to the hungry man standing on the corner. I don't want my children to stay seated in their chairs at all times. I want them to stand up for people and stand up for their convictions. I don't want my kids to accept everything they are told without question, because one day soon, I want them to question everything.
Harming other people (either verbally or physically) is certainly always wrong. Disrespecting adults or other people's property is certainly always wrong. But, I feel like there are so many other "wrongs" that are really just inconvenient and more of a pain to deal with in a standard classroom. My prayer is that my kids have strong convictions about the plans God has for their lives. I pray that they do not let fear limit them from becoming who they were meant to be. I pray that they are always kind and always compassionate. And I pray that we never squash their passion because they are a little more wiggly or loud or crazy than we want to deal with.
My pastor, Andy Stanley, says that your greatest contribution may not be something that you do, but someone you raise. I feel both the massive burden and privilege of this. I feel the major responsibility that sits on my shoulders. It is my job to both advocate for my children and discipline my children. It is my job to make sure that no one squashes their passion that makes them who they are, but it's also my job to squash the behaviors that are not kind and are not acceptable. God has given me three very special (and slightly out-of-sync) children. I just pray that he also gave me the patience and endurance to complete this race as their mom. I hope that my kids who think I am too strict, and my friends who think I am not strict enough, all will see in the end that every decision I have made has been in an effort to protect and create the beautiful beings they were created to be!
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