When colors collide

Brown fingers flail angrily in the air towards my face.  Six eyes of Caucasian children watch in exasperation, both equal parts shocked and scared.   This woman claims to be angry at my family for unfairly waiting in line but as I hear the hatred in her voice, I know it's so much deeper than that.   The injustice she is angry about I suspect has way less to do with the current event at hand and way more to do with the color of my skin spurring this hate.   I ask her to stop yelling at my family, and we work out agreement agreeable to both sides, but not before she declares to all standing in line that "white people don't think they have to wait in line like they do!".  I'm really glad that I missed that outburst because I'm not sure my heart could have taken it.  My eight year tells me how scared she felt and looks completely confused as we talk about what happened.  My heart breaks that this woman, clearly influenced my racism and inequality and poor treatment towards her or someone she loves has led her to these feelings, but now, in her attempt to fight for justice, has exposed my innocent children to the hatred spurred by this racism and inequality.  These innocent kids I have spent the last eight years trying to protect from this hate, teach to love without regard to skin color.  We have filtered the news they hear, the friends they see, and now, this anger and hatred, playing out right in front of them.  Lord, please don't let it harden their hearts, I pray.  Don't let it confuse them to think we (the white people) are the good guys and they (the black lady yelling at their mom angrily) are the bad guys.   Because my heart knows so much better.   I think of the possible scenarios leading this woman to this anger at a skin color, knowing I am just a scapegoat for this anger.   The rest of my trip to Six Flags was an inner turmoil within my mind and Spirit battling my reaction to this event.  I felt hurt, confused, and defeated.  Doesn't she know that despite my "white privilege" that my heart hurts for the inequality she has likely experienced?  Doesn't she know that it is my passion to help a generation of those who feel trampled on or ignored?   The 2017 knee-jerk reaction is to post about this crazy experience, have lots of people like me comment how wrong she was and how angry I should be, and forget about it 2 days later.   Thankfully, God has seeded this desire to help fan out the deep hatred and crazy relationship dynamics among black and white neighbors.   The first part is to realize that I can't be defensive.  I can't let one angry woman deter me from seeking change for my generation and that of my children.   Because, she did not know my heart.   She saw a white family that did not appear to wait in line fairly and it got the best of her.  But in her unfounded angry outburst, it revealed her heart.  Which has clearly been injured by a group of people who have taken advantage of her.   And despite my dislike for her, it had nothing to do with the color of her skin.  And it only makes me want to fight harder for those feeling this hurt by a group of people.   By a group of people who look a lot like me. 
I don't have the answers to fix this deeply hurtful and emotion driven issue that resonates so deeply with multiple generations.   But, I believe deeply that it doesn't get solved by blaming each other.  It doesn't get solved by making excuses or saying things like "well if they....", and it doesn't get solved by continuing on silently and pretending a problem doesn't exist. 
I believe so very deeply that 1) God created us all--- red, yellow, black, and white, and he loves us the same and 2) Jesus died for every one of us.   Not just the Jews.   Not just the white people.  And he loves all of us.  And I believe he expects us to do the same.